Girlhood is tough and full of difficult lessons. And it is beautiful.
The room is filled with the sound of Taylor Swift and a little girl’s laughter. The sounds bounce off the walls of her bedroom. A sound that became all too familiar throughout her first 10 years. She dances around the room singing into her hairbrush, jumping off her bed that’s covered in princess pink sheets, no care in the world to who’s watching. This is girlhood.
Girlhood is one word to simply explain the time you’re learning to be a woman. Many believe that becoming a woman is a scary and painful thing, and it by all means is, but it’s also the time in a female’s life that she learns who and what she is and wants to be. It’s not easy by any means, but it’s important. The peak of girlhood normally takes place during the first 10 years of a woman’s life. Now, this time is crucial and normally reflects later in life. Girls take interest in very different things–there’s no girl that is exactly the same as another. For me the first 10 years were filled with Taylor Swift, Hello Kitty karaoke, Barbies, and princesses. For others it may be the opposite but that’s okay, it’s okay to be different.
Soon after her 10th birthday a girl enters her tween years, aka the most awkward phase in a girl’s life, or anyone’s life. She starts to change, she goes from dresses to crop tops and from a sweet little girl to the most “dramatic” person you’ll ever meet. I’ll be honest, these years are not easy for any parent. This is when (in my opinion) a girl changes the most.
The ages 10-12 are when a girl starts becoming a woman. Then comes teenagers, this is when a girl really becomes a woman. She starts to learn right from wrong in a woman’s perspective. She becomes the person she may be for the remainder of her life. Now people will always change and many may view that change as disgraceful but, that change matters, it creates the beautiful women a girl will become.
I often fear that if I don’t meet these standards then I’ll fail, and nobody wants to fail.
Girlhood is different for everyone, but one thing stays the same, society’s expectations on women. It’s almost like we’re taught that in order to be a woman you have to be perfect. We’re all taught to be the same. There are so many standards placed on women that it makes being a woman feel like a chore, and it’s exhausting. For example in a woman’s point of view you must be a feminist but in a boy’s point of view you’re biased. You must be confident, but not too confident. You can’t be too quiet because then you’re “weird,” but if you’re too loud you’re “annoying.” You have to talk to guys because if you don’t you’re a “loser,” but if you talk to guys too much then you’re a “whore.” You have to wear enough clothes so you’re not labeled as a “slut,” but you can’t wear too many clothes or you’re lazy. You have to like normal things, but still be a little unique because if you aren’t, you’re bland and basic. You must act “ladylike” because if you don’t then you’re a “slob.” You must work hard, but not too hard because then you’re a “try hard.” As you can see, it’s exhausting and quite honestly terrifying. I often fear that if I don’t meet these standards then I’ll fail, and nobody wants to fail.
Like I said, being a woman is terrifying. We live in a world where in some people’s eyes, we are an easy target. We’re looked upon as “weak” and “easy.” Women struggle daily with the fear of being taken advantage of. Not only physically but emotionally. Women are looked at in a way of emotion, therefore people often take that for granted. They manipulate us in a way that makes us feel worthless and stupid. I have been personally attacked by people just because they look at me as helpless because I’m more emotional than they are.
The first thing I remember my grandma teaching me when I was a child was, if someone tries to kidnap you, kick ’em in the balls. This was always assuming it would be a man, because it was unlikely for a woman to do that. Which isn’t objectively true, but statistically a man is more likely to kidnap a little girl than a woman is. I am by no means saying all men are this sick because the majority of men aren’t terrible people, but there’s enough to show statistics. It’s people like these that make me afraid to walk to my car in a dark empty parking lot. People like these make me feel like I always need pepper spray on me in order to feel safe. It’s horrifying that we live in a world where we fear each other, but that’s a story for another day.
Regardless of all that fear, it is just a part of life; unfortunately that’s the kind of world we live in. Although these are lessons women learn in girlhood, it doesn’t completely overtake the beauty of it.
You may be wondering what makes girlhood so different from boyhood. Now I honestly don’t know a whole lot about boyhood, but from what I’ve gathered, girlhood and boyhood are two similar things until about the age of 11. Girls have different lessons that are taught to them. They have to learn how to be perfect and I’m by no means saying that boys aren’t taught this too, it’s just taught differently for both.
If the interactions I have had with boys in high school have taught me anything, it’s that they develop slower.
Everyone has a story and has different things that shaped them in life, but girls develop faster than boys and therefore girls become women before boys become men. If the interactions I have had with boys in high school have taught me anything, it’s that they develop slower. Boys I’ve met are mean and ruthless and all I can do is hope that they’ll someday become a better person, like my dad who is mature and just overall a really good person. So, that being said, I don’t think that neither girlhood or boyhood is more difficult than the other, I just think that they’re very different in their own way, and they are beautiful in their own way.
Girlhood teaches us many things, what to wear, what to say, how to avoid certain situations, and overall how to live your life as a woman. It’s an important thing that happens to every girl. The only thing more important than learning those life lessons is learning to deal with them, and how we view them. We shouldn’t frown upon girlhood because it’s hard. We should be happy it happens because it shapes us into who we want to be.
You live and you learn as a woman, and that is what girlhood is. It’s the experiences that shape you for the rest of your life. It’s what teaches us to live life to the fullest, to laugh and to love. To put it simply, girlhood is beautiful.
Banner Image by Kelly Verdeck on Flickr
The Pine Needle 