It was a random June 17th. I hadn’t planned on getting maced or having milk dumped on my face but that’s where the night took us. My friend Troy was moving to Florida and it would be one of the last times we could hang out. I wasn’t maced out of fear or aggression, I was maced because we had jokingly talked about what it would be like and I said it was on my bucket list. So our clear line of teenage reasoning was that the proper way to send Troy off would be for him to mace me. This took us to a cul-de-sac at the top of a street where no houses sat. We gathered jugs of milk, an audience of friends, and the faithful mace.
The initial spray of mace is not that bad. It is not till you open your eyes that your body begins to panic. After opening my eyes I couldn’t see, and my face was on fire. Obviously, the next step in the process of “how to mace one’s friend and then how to fix the pain” was to pour gallons of milk on me. The milk was whole and creamy, and ice cold. If just having my face burn wasn’t enough, now I had a brain freeze to go along with it. My cognitive ability to process what was happening drained with every splash of milk and I didn’t even know the kid pouring the milk on me. After this memory-making incident, when the pain lessened, I ended up lying on the ground for who knows how long as my skin burned and the milk curdled.
To be honest, many people would say that doesn’t sound fun, and while I would agree it was very painful and uncomfortable, it is a memory that I will never forget and a moment that I share with some of the closest people in my life. Later that night, after washing off the cottage cheese substance that clung to my body, and mostly regaining my ability to process the information, I properly met Remi, the stranger who had poured the milk on my face. Two days after this fire and milk incident Remi and I went to a sleepaway camp together. Again, this decision was made spontaneously. We have since been best friends, forged in fire and milk, or something like that.
Sending Troy off with my macing will be a night I will always remember and one unplanned. This memory reminds me that too often we focus on the outcomes of a situation rather than the enjoyment of the moment. Sure, maybe what you want to do at the moment is inconvenient, but who truly cares because chances are the memory from the moment will be of more value than keeping your car from getting a little dirty or getting to bed on time.
I used to be a very well-ordered person. When my friends and I would hang out we had a time, we had a place, and we had an agenda. There was a full plan for what was going to happen. And more often than you’d think, it was miserable. My stress level was high in pursuit of the perfect plan – and maybe my brain just doesn’t work in that way because it was personally draining for me to plan things and host and end a night feeling as if people were hanging out as a group simply because we didn’t know how to hang out with anybody else. I remember inviting people over one night with a set plan. Friends could come to my house at about 6:30 pm and could stay till about 9 pm, we would play Jackbox, and maybe go in the hot tub. By the time we had done everything we planned, it was only 8 pm, but instead of functioning like normal people and just enjoying each other’s presence, everyone left early because the planned activities were over. It was sad and I knew I didn’t enjoy it. When I inevitably gave up on having structured plans – and now rarely have a plan for an entire night – everything felt smoother. If my friends and I wanted to do something, we went and did it. We didn’t feel obligated and held back to meet this agenda that we had given ourselves because we felt that we could be spontaneous and do what we pleased without having to worry about the inconvenience it would cause. I’m not trying to say never have a plan. Of course, plans can be good and can give an outline so you know what you have going on, but try to enjoy the moments that are unplanned instead of feeling trapped by what you have already told yourself.
We praise the idea of living your life to the fullest yet we don’t apply this to our own lives.
I think another common thing is when someone holds themselves back from being themselves and doing what may be enjoyable because they are scared of how others will view them. The most freeing thing is when you stop worrying about how something will be viewed and what its result will be. Listen to your impulsive thoughts. You think it would be fun to learn to sew – then you commit to making it happen. I find that humans limit ourselves because of other people but if you want to be spontaneous then you must leave that fear behind and embrace the moment. You might look silly but you will be doing what you want. Maybe you want to audition for theater but are worried you will be ridiculed. I’d encourage you to leave that thought behind you. You will never know if you will love something or how others will react to it if you don’t first do the thing. You must take a step of trust and faith and be satisfied with the fact that you did what you wanted to do.
The amount of sleep I have lost this year from getting calls at 10:00 pm inviting me to wake up and climb a mountain at 3:00 am simply to watch the sunrise is, in many people’s opinions, unreasonable. Still, the memories that I gained from said experiences were life-changing. Not only did I grow closer with the people I was with, I felt more accomplished and more content with the fact that I didn’t miss out on something I might have wanted to do. For a while, people used the term “YOLO” or “you only live once.” Our society tends to even idolize in film and social media this mentality of just going on an adventure and doing what you want to do. We praise the idea of living your life to the fullest yet we don’t apply this to our own lives and so many people say, “Well it’s because it’s inconvenient just to go do something.” But a shift in mindset shows that the only thing stopping you from doing and achieving memories and spontaneity is yourself.
Right before the start of my sophomore year I randomly decided that I was going to run a seven-mile hike that had 1100 feet of elevation–the infamous “Black Elk Peak”–in less than two hours. None of my friends were available or wanted to run with me, and I am not a runner. Frankly, it was horrible. After just the first mile I was exhausted and sweaty and wanted to give up, I mean it’s not like anyone would care if I stopped. However, it may have been something I did out of the blue but I committed to it in my mind and decided that I had to do it. When I finally finished it, in about an hour and 45 minutes (kaboom), I felt like I was going to puke, pass out, and maybe die, but I felt accomplished. I knew that I would have regretted not doing it because in my head I already come up with the idea, I had already committed to the fact that this was something I could do. Had I not done it I would have had to live with the fact that I gave up. This, to me, is what I would call “type 2 fun.” The joy was in the journey, or at least in the memory. Sure, it sucked, but the accomplishment of it is what made it fun. The memory was its reward.
So, truly, what’s stopping anyone from doing what they want? Other than your funds, any disabilities, or your time, most people have the freedom to get in the car and go anywhere, learn a new language, develop a new skill, or even simply rearrange your room. The trick is to look at each adventure as an opportunity instead of an inconvenience. Don’t wait for the perfect timing or the perfect plan. Don’t allow others’ opinions of you to keep you from having fun, choosing adventures, or making memories. Work towards making it happen because that’s what you want, don’t wait for the motivation to come from elsewhere. I’m not saying to just walk out of work and go on a hike because you want to, but you should pursue your happiness as much as possible so when the opportunity arises to do something spontaneously, just go for it. More than likely you will not regret the outcome. If nothing else, you might make a memory that lasts a lifetime and maybe, just maybe, you’ll end up with burning eyes and a face full of milk.
The Pine Needle 