Heartless Thief Steals Fall Tradition from English Department

Large candy corn bucket stolen from the English department leaves teachers feeling violated and greatly disheartened

In a series of harrowing events, the candy corn bucket held dear to the English department was stolen Wednesday October 3rd. Little information has come to light about the thief and the perpetrator has yet to come forward. “They need to pay,” said Mrs. Stover.

The candy corn and peanut bucket was a “fall ritual in the English department,”according to Mrs. Kettering.

“Having peanuts and candy corn together,” said Mr. Grubb, “it’s a coming together of the English department.” Mr. Grubb brings in the massive jar full of peanuts and candy corn every fall, and for many teachers it is a sign that fall is here.

“It’s a nice morale booster for all of us teachers,” said Mr. Lore.

The teachers had not even two days to enjoy the candy before it was stolen. “It felt like Christmas was taken away,” Stover said. “It was super uncool.”It’s “like somebody coming into your house and stealing something,” said Lore. Teachers in the English department agree that this ordeal is saddening, Kettering adding she “felt violated.”

The theft left all the teachers taken aback, and the mystery of who took it still looms. “We blamed each other at first,” Kettering said. However, now they are all quite sure a student is to blame. “I’m sure it’s some little freshman,” said Lore.

The teachers have taken it upon themselves to solve the mystery. Mrs. Mueller had security look over the security cameras to see if the crime was caught on tape. Sadly, this yielded no results. Some other, less thought out, ideas have come to light as well. The proposition of a fake candy bucket with dead rodents inside used to bait the thieves came up. Stover also proposed the offering of a reward, but no one has said definitively what the English department’s next steps are.

All the English teachers have felt the loss of their “annual fall treats.” Mrs. Stover’s husband was generous enough to donate bags of candy corn and peanuts to rebuild a mock candy jar, but for many teachers it’s just not the same. “We just want our candy and peanuts back,” said Grubb.