In a place where straight A’s is seen as the ideal, it is important to remember that perfectionism is a problem worth overcoming.
Conventional wisdom indicates perfectionism is a good trait. Many of my fellow peers confide in me how they have stayed up until ungodly hours in the morning in order to finish project assignments in a misguided effort for it to be perfect. The problem is even with the additional hours they invest, they never think their end product is good enough or perfect, often agonizing if only they had a few more hours or another day. An old Asian proverb says the mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master. I see perfectionism in these same terms: perfectionism puts you to work but never lets you stop.
In The Problem with Being Perfect by Olga Khazan, psychologist Jessica Pryor states, “extreme perfectionism can lead to depression, anxiety, and even suicidal ideation.” As someone who is a survivor of suicide and was unfortunately provided a front-row seat to the prequel and aftermath, the reward the false prophet of perfectionism promises is of no interest to me. David Foster Wallace in his 2005 commencement speech “This is Water” said, “[i]t is not the least bit coincidental that adults who commit suicide with firearms almost always shoot themselves in the head. They shoot the terrible master. And the truth is that most of these suicides are actually dead long before they pull the trigger.” Wallace’s statement on suicide sheds light on the difficult problem of perfectionism. Perfectionism offers good grades and scholarly accolades, but in turn takes away your life, and in the worst cases, the very air you breathe.
I am not special because of my own struggles with perfectionism or my life being affected by my best friend’s suicide, because, sadly, suicide remains prevalent. Suicide is the second-leading cause of death in South Dakota among residents age 15 to 34, according to the South Dakota Department of Health. It remains unknown if each individual in this statistic struggled with perfectionism, but ask yourself: Have you struggled at some point in your life with suicidal ideations because of perfectionistic tendencies? The answer might startle you, if you are honest in your thoughts.
Of course, many may disagree on the grounds that perfectionism is good for them as a self-motivator, when in reality it is an impossibility. Life experience has taught me that unless you provide yourself a chance to fail, you are not provided a chance to try again. When I perform on stage, many times without a plan or set list, I play what feels right. My performance comes from the heart and while I may miss a chord a couple of times, eventually I get there and my audience knows my performance comes from a place of joy.
When we rob ourselves of joy we die, but not only by suicide. Perfectionism robs our creativity, our spontaneity and our freedom. Imagine where we could be if we could all accept failure. True perfection happens when you accept your failures, learn from within and continue to find peace amidst the challenges. As W. E.B. Dubois said, we do this “so as to gain the upper hand of our soul.”
The Pine Needle 