A Lakota’s hair is more than a style, it is sacred and can express the heart’s deepest cries.

By Mary Little

When growing up my unci (grandmother) would always tell me that I need to start learning how to become a young wiyan, (woman) and that when I become one, I’ll know. When you’re about 12-13 years old, you don’t really think becoming a young wiyan or young wicasa, (man) would come with learning how to take care of your growing body and spirit.

When learning from your unci or gaka, (grandfather), they are the ones who teach our Lakota culture and language, in my case my unci taught me. She taught me what it’s like to be a young Lakota wiyan. My unci once told me that we as wiyan’s we are sacred, the same goes for the wicasas.

Our hair and our ni (spirit) are what’s the most important. Traditionally, we let out hair grow out. Our hair holds knowledge and wisdom and it’s believed that the longer your hair is the more one has. We believe that our hair is a physical extension of our ni. With our hair we are able to have heightened connectivity and perception to Mother earth, pulling energy from the world around us. Therefore, we don’t let anyone touch our hair unless it’s a trusted person because someone who is ill can taint our hair.

Our grieving process is very different. When we lose a close relative who we highly respect, a parent, guardian, family member, mentor, etc. we don’t only morn for them, but we also cut our hair. Cutting our hair is part of the morning process- it’s like a small ceremony within ourselves- we are to burn our hair with sage or sweetgrass as we release our prayers, thoughts, and dreams to the creator.

Almost four years ago I cut my hair for my unci, she was my second mom. She helped raise me and taught me how to be a who I am today, and if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be who I am right now. I had a lot of respect and love for my unci, for which I cut my hair short to my shoulders. My family followed, my mother, sister, aunts, cousins to morn our beloved grandmother. The mourning process was painful; not only did my heart hurt, my family were also hurting as well. There were times where I’d miss my long hair but I had to remember that hair grows back little by little, but my unci will never come back to this side.

Overall, this lesson signifies our lives’ hurting and renewal stages. We hurt and grieve eventually healing and growing. That’s the way of our lives.