Balancing time with friends and significant others is a challenge many students face, and Senior Sally has some ideas about how to do it. If you have a question for Sally, let us know.
Q: Why do my friends get mad when I spend time with my significant other?
A: Your friends might not be mad; they just don’t want to lose you.
If you’re a freshman, right now might seem like a confusing time because you’re in a big school filled with so many opportunities. By opportunities I mean really attractive classmates. It’s easy to get sucked into the dating world with all the hopeful prospects that walk before you in the hallways or sit next to you in class. Even outside of school there are plenty of interesting people that will show their affection for you. Interaction with these people can develop in a relationship which may also lead to spending less time with your friends.
In your case, you might be misinterpreting what your friends are trying to say. If you have a friendship with someone it must mean you enjoy hanging out with each other (hopefully) and on their part, it might be a bit sad to not be with you as often as they would like. Relationships of any kind are weird and sometimes people express their feelings in ways they don’t mean to. Your friends might not be mad, just upset. This is an easy fix that takes a little adjustment. While I understand you’re enjoying getting to know your significant other, make sure you’re spending time with your friends and communicating in a healthy manner too. Friends should come first, after all, they’ve had your back through a lot. If a break up does happen (*insert surprised gasp*), you’ll want plenty of friends to be there for you to cheer you up.
While I understand, you’re enjoying getting to know your significant other, make sure you’re spending time with your friends and communicating in a healthy manner too.
Maybe you and your friends can develop a routine, like going out for ice cream on Wednesdays or coffee Saturday mornings. Or, you can always suggest bringing your significant other with your group of friends to hang out, but don’t insist on it every time. Space is healthy in a relationship so don’t be afraid to say, “Hey, I’m hanging out with the boys/girls tonight. We can hangout soon though!”
If you’re in a relationship that severely restricts you from spending time with other people, then I suggest you get out of it. (Seriously, don’t waste your precious time.) I’m not trying to tell you to stay away from dating in high school but I am suggesting that you learn how to balance your time between the people who are important to you. If your boyfriend/girlfriend truly likes you, they will want you to keep your friendships because they care about your happiness. The same should go for you.
Next time your friend asks you to hangout, do it. I can almost guarantee it’ll be worth it, and when you see your boyfriend/girlfriend next you can tell them about all the fun things you did!