Comfort Food, Quick

To have a pizza roll quickly is the beauty of a pizza roll. But what if you could have it even quicker?

By Mady Wolfe

With a crunchy outside and tongue burning inside, these bite sized tastes of heaven were perfect snacks for any party, binge-fest, lounge-day or, in my case, breakfast. They ranged in flavors from cheese to saucy supreme, were quick and easy, and made you feel safe and warm. And, no, I am not talking about pizza. I am talking about its better-looking, better-tasting cousin, pizza rolls.

At the age of eight, pizza rolls were the only food I was willing to eat. I loved pizza rolls so much that I did not have to look on the bag for the cooking instructions, they were engraved in my mind. Oven heat at 425 degrees timer set for 10-12 minutes and spread the pouches 1 inch apart on a greased baking sheet. Standing in front of the oven watching the heat display slowly increase as my stomach rumbling grew louder was torturous. Sometimes, I swore that the temperature would go down instead of up. The beep indicating that the desired temperature was reached would send me sprinting through the house in an instant. A wave of heat would wash over me as I carefully opened the oven door and slid the tray in. Then all I had to do was wait for the timer to reach zero.

While I waited, I would do many things, like homework, watch tv, destroy my room by smashing Legos and ripping sheets off the bed to create an epic fort. But once I could smell the pizza rolls and hear the sizzling I became glued to the oven door. Watching. Waiting until it was time. My grubby fingers would leave handprints on the glass. The chime of the timer going off was music to my ears. I could feel the searing heat through the oven mitts as I removed the tray from the oven. The crust was golden brown and covered in grease. Little charred bits of pizza littered the tray along with pizza roll guts. That is how you know they are done. I must wait at least one minute before shoving the food in my face. It is for the best. I want to be able to eat the pizza rolls without pain. But no matter what, pizza rolls are always delicious.

Or so I thought. Once, I wanted to see if I could make pizza rolls quicker, without the struggle of waiting and listening. This is when I came across the microwave instructions on the back. MICROWAVE. I was shook. I could get pizza rolls in only 4-5 minutes? Of course I had to try it. The next time I ate pizza rolls I put them on a paper plate and placed that in the microwave. I set the timer for 1:00, long enough for 6 rolls, and watched the pizza rolls slowly spin in circles. There was not a strong smell or loud sizzling noises. When the timer went off, I did not get the excited feeling that I did before, especially after I pulled them out of the microwave and saw a pitiful pile of mush on my plate.

The pizza rolls were limp, and they had no crunch. No sizzle. No life in them. They were pathetic looking. I took one bite and almost threw up. The insides were still cold. I could not even finish the plate. I could have put them in longer, but there was no point. The oven pizza rolls might have taken longer but they came out better than pizza rolls from the microwave. Sure, the microwave was quicker, but in the end it wasn’t worth it. Sometimes waiting, or taking your time, is more rewarding than finding the quickest way.

Photo: Jay’s contribution by Sharyn Marrow on Flickr