Beef Riblet Dominates Lunch Room

The beef riblet has won the hearts and stomachs of Central High School students.

By Brady DeVries

Students at Central High School have all become accustomed to the audacious beef riblet over the past year. Why do students love this lunch so much? Will we see more soon? What makes the beef riblet so good?

In a very well done and factual survey, studies show that when asked “Would you eat the beef rib everyday until you die?” 207 out of 208 students questioned said absolutely yes. The 208th student, Gunnar Benson, said, “I would eat the beef rib even after I die.” These astounding results show that students at Central really love the BBQ beef riblet.

Just thinking about it makes your mouth water. One slab of a BBQ beef rib in between two crispy hamburger buns–what more could a student ask for in a lunch? Not to mention the sides, whether it’s seasoned potato sticks or fries, the dish never seems to disappoint. Slowly making its way into the school cafeteria, the BBQ beef riblet is here to stay. While the beef riblet is one of the most popular lunches, there are others that Central seems to favor. Coming in at seven times this year, the chicken strips have really made a statement in the lunchroom, but it’s really no match for the burgers, coming in at a whopping eight times so far this year.

“Properly aged for flavor and tenderness, these chuck ribs are USDA-inspected and contain no artificial ingredients,” says senior Gunnar Benson. (The Pine Needle has yet to fact check this quote.) The beef rib has revolutionized the lunch menu forever, truly changing the quality of lunch items being served to the students.

“When the beef riblet gets put on my tray I know everything will be okay,” says Abby Croyle, a senior. “Beef riblets can make a good day the greatest.”

While the ingredients to the magnificent beef rib remain classified, we can only imagine how much care is put into these frozen imported meals. These have become a staple around most Central students. When asked about the beef rib, words mentioned by Central students include savory, delicious, mouthwatering, delight, and most of all . . . ICONIC.